That's how I feel right now. I'm on the verge of quitting. I hate this so much more this time around than I did the first time. The first time it was new. It was exciting to be trying something that I thought would give us the opportunity to have a baby. This time all I can think about is how much the shots hurt. They hurt worse than before. I think about how horrible I feel and how horrible I will feel. How much the surgery sucked and how god awful nightmares were during surgery because of the drugs. I'm not kidding when I say I have vivid flashbacks of them and they are horrible.
and the biggest thing I cannot seem to overcome....is that I know what it feels like for this to fail. That hurts the worst of all. I have absolute zero faith that this time will work because I don't trust Walter Reed. I have no faith in them and no money to go anywhere else.
So this is my emotional post for the night. All I can say is I hope this gets better.
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